Sometimes the negative self talk is so defeating. Self-sabotage. Today was one of those "I don't want to look in the mirror because I make myself sick" kinda days... What to do on a day like this..
I'm hoping talking about will give me som release. If I ever heard my daughter talk to herself the way I do, I would be completely broken-hearted. That sweet little girl is going to be bombarded with negative self images right and left, and as her mommy I have to change, for her sake. I pray my baby never feels the way I'm feeling. "You're ugly." "You're enormous and obese and disgusting." "look at that figure, it's pathetic." "You should be embarrassed to go out in public." when is this going to sync in? I can't do this to myself anymore. How am I ever going to reach my goal if I don't believe I deserve it.
This week, I'm going to start positive affirmations and focusing daily in what my goals are. I'm still down 10 pounds, and I'm grateful for it. Maybe that's a third thing I'm going to work on...gratitude.
Take out the garbage in my head, fill it back up with positivity, gratitude and praying continuously. Maybe with those tools in my belt I'll start moving forward. Do I really want this??? What is keeping my where I'm at? It's time to let go.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Sourcing REAL FOOD
This past month my husband and I have cut out grains and dairy. Honestly, after awhile you don't really miss it. The only thing I've had trouble with is learning how to snack without grains and dairy. We've been eating a lot of eggs, squash soup (using homemade broth), juicing carrots and special delicious green juice, home-soaked and dehydrates nuts and meat.
HOWEVER - I really enjoy a good mocha or cappucino once in awhile. So I've sourced REAL MILK. Real raw milk! I'll be making homemade mocha syrup with out of maple syrup, water, and unsweetened cocoa and raw milk, with delicious local Dogwood coffee. Mmmm... I <3 Dogwood coffee..
How did I find real milk? Well, first I contacted my local Weston Price Chapter leader - who had no leads. He said that there were too many looking for raw milk so he had no resources to hook me up with. BUMMER. Then one day I had an epiphany. CRAIGSLIST! Craigslist has everything, right!?! They have to have people looking to sell raw milk! And guess what, I found my person! So next week, I'm heading to the farm, which shall be remain nameless since our government loves, loves, LOVES to attack local farms (search MICHIGAN & ORGANIC PIGS). A friend of mine and I will get about 4 gallons of milk between the two of us (she has 5 kiddos, so she'll be taking the bulk of it!) And the kiddos can check out the farm while we're there too!
So don't give up on finding real food - think creatively. Ask friends where they get their local foods (CSA's and farms); look on Craigslist, or hang out in the parking lot of Whole Foods...I think some suspicious Real Food selling may go down out there...
But yay! This is gonna be good!
HOWEVER - I really enjoy a good mocha or cappucino once in awhile. So I've sourced REAL MILK. Real raw milk! I'll be making homemade mocha syrup with out of maple syrup, water, and unsweetened cocoa and raw milk, with delicious local Dogwood coffee. Mmmm... I <3 Dogwood coffee..
How did I find real milk? Well, first I contacted my local Weston Price Chapter leader - who had no leads. He said that there were too many looking for raw milk so he had no resources to hook me up with. BUMMER. Then one day I had an epiphany. CRAIGSLIST! Craigslist has everything, right!?! They have to have people looking to sell raw milk! And guess what, I found my person! So next week, I'm heading to the farm, which shall be remain nameless since our government loves, loves, LOVES to attack local farms (search MICHIGAN & ORGANIC PIGS). A friend of mine and I will get about 4 gallons of milk between the two of us (she has 5 kiddos, so she'll be taking the bulk of it!) And the kiddos can check out the farm while we're there too!
So don't give up on finding real food - think creatively. Ask friends where they get their local foods (CSA's and farms); look on Craigslist, or hang out in the parking lot of Whole Foods...I think some suspicious Real Food selling may go down out there...
But yay! This is gonna be good!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Oh the lovely month of February...
So...February...This month is closer to the holiday season, than the actual holiday season...After 4...yes, 4...birthday parties and Valentine's day...I didn't lose much weight. I gained a few good pounds.
So this month, I worked on getting back to where I was at, at the end of February, and I am there! Thank goodness. I'm looking forward to losing a few more pounds the remainder of this month and reaching my first goal of 30 pounds in April....hopefully before my mother-in-law comes to visit.
We are following the GAPS diet - this diet helps with a myriad of issues - for me personally eczema and weight loss. For my husband, weight gain depression, and anxiety, We have been on the intro diet since March 1st, and are now on stage 3 - which means we can eat - homemade meat broth, boiled meats, well boiled vegetables, fermented vegetables, animal fat, ghee oil, egg yolks, just added egg whites, walnuts, and avocados! It's a pretty strict healing diet - aimed to heal leaky gut syndrome.
Honestly - I feel amazing. AMAZING! My husband has been in a good mood for almost a week. That relieves a ton of stress for us. My skin has not broken out in hives unless I eat something I'm not supposed to. We both have more energy, even when we're tired. It's been pretty great. It's a huge blessing for me when my husband comes home and says he had a good day. Not a fine day, or a blah day, but a good day. Ahhh...it's like a breath of fresh air!
I'm juicing now as well. We've been able to drink carrot juice...mmmm...and today I added lettuce, apples and half a lemon. Greenish-brown, but good!
So, yay for March and yay for fresh starts. Feels good!
So this month, I worked on getting back to where I was at, at the end of February, and I am there! Thank goodness. I'm looking forward to losing a few more pounds the remainder of this month and reaching my first goal of 30 pounds in April....hopefully before my mother-in-law comes to visit.
We are following the GAPS diet - this diet helps with a myriad of issues - for me personally eczema and weight loss. For my husband, weight gain depression, and anxiety, We have been on the intro diet since March 1st, and are now on stage 3 - which means we can eat - homemade meat broth, boiled meats, well boiled vegetables, fermented vegetables, animal fat, ghee oil, egg yolks, just added egg whites, walnuts, and avocados! It's a pretty strict healing diet - aimed to heal leaky gut syndrome.
Honestly - I feel amazing. AMAZING! My husband has been in a good mood for almost a week. That relieves a ton of stress for us. My skin has not broken out in hives unless I eat something I'm not supposed to. We both have more energy, even when we're tired. It's been pretty great. It's a huge blessing for me when my husband comes home and says he had a good day. Not a fine day, or a blah day, but a good day. Ahhh...it's like a breath of fresh air!
I'm juicing now as well. We've been able to drink carrot juice...mmmm...and today I added lettuce, apples and half a lemon. Greenish-brown, but good!
So, yay for March and yay for fresh starts. Feels good!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Cheat Day...
So cheat day....what a delight... right?!?!
Well, I had 2 cheat days in January and I still lost 8 pounds! Awesome!!! HOWEVER - last Saturday, I had a FEAST of a cheat day and it has taken me all week to get back to what I was at the beginning of last Saturday. I seriously started last Saturday at 212.2 pounds and did not return to that until today. Yikes.
So today, I return to cheat day, but today's cheat day is different than previous cheat days. Today, I'll have some dessert, but it won't be a day of desserts...I'll have some carbs, but it won't be a full day of chowing down heavy white carbs. It will be a controlled cheat day.
It may feel like this defeats the purpose of cheat day, but believe me, keeping cheat day in check is going to make February an even more productive month...(which by the way I have to shovel all snow the whole month of February because I didn't reach my goal of 10 pounds - self-imposed cost of not reaching my goal...and probably self-imposed cost of cheat day gone wild...)
Last Saturdays cheat day made me feel like I could be the chubby girl who secretly eats a dozen donuts in the car before she gets home. That is frightening. Let me frighten you with what I ate last Saturday:
Breakfast:
Breakfast:
Small (really it was small) Blueberry muffin
Small (again...I promise it was small) Chocolate Chip Muffin
Snack:
Fun Size Snickers
Fun Size Kit Kat
Lunch:
Medium Size Sloppy Joe
5 Jo Jos (potato wedges)
Second Lunch:
Panera Sierra Turkey Sandwich
1/2 Cinnamon Roll
1 Chocolate Filled Croissant
Dinner:
3 pieces Pizza
Bag of M&M's
Cherry Coke
Now...I don't want you to get the idea that I ate like this every day to reach my lovely current weight...If I ate like this everyday, I would tack on another 100 pounds...My Fitness Tracker says I'd be 232.5 pounds in 5 weeks.
Another shocker for you: I ate 4199 calories. Okay that's bad....here's what is BAD BAD, I consumed 267 grams of sugar. Do you know how many teaspoons of sugar that is??? There are about 4 grams of sugar in a teaspoon. I consumed nearly 68 TEASPOONS of sugar. Wow...that was a shocker. And I felt like crap. So today...while I will have a few indulgences that I won't allow myself the rest of the time...I will not sabotage all my efforts from last week to satisfy my sweet tooth. I will enjoy, but not make myself sick. Today, I vow to be controlled.
Well, I had 2 cheat days in January and I still lost 8 pounds! Awesome!!! HOWEVER - last Saturday, I had a FEAST of a cheat day and it has taken me all week to get back to what I was at the beginning of last Saturday. I seriously started last Saturday at 212.2 pounds and did not return to that until today. Yikes.
So today, I return to cheat day, but today's cheat day is different than previous cheat days. Today, I'll have some dessert, but it won't be a day of desserts...I'll have some carbs, but it won't be a full day of chowing down heavy white carbs. It will be a controlled cheat day.
It may feel like this defeats the purpose of cheat day, but believe me, keeping cheat day in check is going to make February an even more productive month...(which by the way I have to shovel all snow the whole month of February because I didn't reach my goal of 10 pounds - self-imposed cost of not reaching my goal...and probably self-imposed cost of cheat day gone wild...)
Last Saturdays cheat day made me feel like I could be the chubby girl who secretly eats a dozen donuts in the car before she gets home. That is frightening. Let me frighten you with what I ate last Saturday:
Breakfast:
Breakfast:
Small (really it was small) Blueberry muffin
Small (again...I promise it was small) Chocolate Chip Muffin
Snack:
Fun Size Snickers
Fun Size Kit Kat
Lunch:
Medium Size Sloppy Joe
5 Jo Jos (potato wedges)
Second Lunch:
Panera Sierra Turkey Sandwich
1/2 Cinnamon Roll
1 Chocolate Filled Croissant
Dinner:
3 pieces Pizza
Bag of M&M's
Cherry Coke
Now...I don't want you to get the idea that I ate like this every day to reach my lovely current weight...If I ate like this everyday, I would tack on another 100 pounds...My Fitness Tracker says I'd be 232.5 pounds in 5 weeks.
Another shocker for you: I ate 4199 calories. Okay that's bad....here's what is BAD BAD, I consumed 267 grams of sugar. Do you know how many teaspoons of sugar that is??? There are about 4 grams of sugar in a teaspoon. I consumed nearly 68 TEASPOONS of sugar. Wow...that was a shocker. And I felt like crap. So today...while I will have a few indulgences that I won't allow myself the rest of the time...I will not sabotage all my efforts from last week to satisfy my sweet tooth. I will enjoy, but not make myself sick. Today, I vow to be controlled.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Day ? Postpartum
Okay...so I don't think I'm considered postpartum anymore! My baby had her 3 month birthday on the 12th, so I'm officially out of the third trimester, and thankful to be so!
This month I have released about 7 pounds! Woo hoo! I know the early on weight loss is fast, but I'm still excited!!!
My current weight is 213.8
I've worked out 4 times this month, cut out anything white and have seriously increased my protein intake! I will also be giving myself a cheat day once a week starting this Saturday, we'll see how that goes!
I haven't measured in awhile so I'm also going to update my measurements and add a few extra.
(note to self: I do suck it in!)
Upper left arm: 14.5
Upper right arm: 15
Waist at bend: 37.625
Waist at navel: 42.75
Hips at fullest part: 46.75
as you can see, I've become an apple. I need to lose inches, so that's more my focus than my weight. Looking forward to the hot bod!
Also, I've been learning how to do kettlebell swings; about 75 reps; 3 times a week. I've heard really good things.
Another helpful thing for me: fajitas without the tortilla. Marinate chicken, peppers, and onions in a fajita spiced chicken broth (healthy broths are made at home). Some good things to add: hickory liquid smoke, cumin, garlic, chili powder, cayenne pepper, salt (if homemade) pepper, tomatoes, Mexican oregano, lime... I marinated then cooked it still in the marinade. Stored leftovers in the marinade. I may use he remaining marinade for a soup. If you use lime in your marinade, only marinate for 2 hours, any longer than that the citrus will cook your chicken and the chicken will end up a little drier. Not as delicious!
We did this, added half an avocado on each of ours, salsa, and spinach. Skipping the cheese, since I've been cutting out dairy.
This month I have released about 7 pounds! Woo hoo! I know the early on weight loss is fast, but I'm still excited!!!
My current weight is 213.8
I've worked out 4 times this month, cut out anything white and have seriously increased my protein intake! I will also be giving myself a cheat day once a week starting this Saturday, we'll see how that goes!
I haven't measured in awhile so I'm also going to update my measurements and add a few extra.
(note to self: I do suck it in!)
Upper left arm: 14.5
Upper right arm: 15
Waist at bend: 37.625
Waist at navel: 42.75
Hips at fullest part: 46.75
as you can see, I've become an apple. I need to lose inches, so that's more my focus than my weight. Looking forward to the hot bod!
Also, I've been learning how to do kettlebell swings; about 75 reps; 3 times a week. I've heard really good things.
Another helpful thing for me: fajitas without the tortilla. Marinate chicken, peppers, and onions in a fajita spiced chicken broth (healthy broths are made at home). Some good things to add: hickory liquid smoke, cumin, garlic, chili powder, cayenne pepper, salt (if homemade) pepper, tomatoes, Mexican oregano, lime... I marinated then cooked it still in the marinade. Stored leftovers in the marinade. I may use he remaining marinade for a soup. If you use lime in your marinade, only marinate for 2 hours, any longer than that the citrus will cook your chicken and the chicken will end up a little drier. Not as delicious!
We did this, added half an avocado on each of ours, salsa, and spinach. Skipping the cheese, since I've been cutting out dairy.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Day 90 postpartum
New weight: 216.2
So so so glad to be out of the 220's!!! SO GLAD! I've been cutting out a ton of sugar and it's been helping immensely. So glad to have Truvia! I have to say that my new pants are also starting to fit better! We're not there yet, but we're close. By we I mean, my pants and me...
I had 2 days where I didn't eat only what I was supposed to. On one day I was sitting with my friend in the hospital who couldn't handle eating. So I ate her chicken quesadilla! It was a little too much. So I decided that would be a cheat day for me! So my husband and I went out for pizza that night. And I didn't weigh myself the next day. Really glad I didn't...I already felt guilty for eating poorly the day before. I decided it wasn't a good way to start the next day. Being discouraged from the get go will not help you get to your goal that day. So I skipped and weighed myself the ndxt day, and I had gone back down to the previous low! Nothing to feel bad about!
The other cheat was that my cousin offered to buy us shakes at Dairy Queen. I asked for the very smallest shake they had...turns out that still isn't very small! I still was within my calorie range and I went down still this morning! Woo hoo!
I want to get better at working out more. I worked out twice last week and haven't worked out this week. I feel the momentum so I really want to jump in with both feet! The hug and I went for a nice long walk today, but nothing that would cause sweat.. I gotta sweat.
Still feeling good and totally ready to be at my pre-pregnancy weight! Less than 10 pounds to go! Oh baby, feels good!
I'll have a smoking' hot bad and a tight ass in no time!
So so so glad to be out of the 220's!!! SO GLAD! I've been cutting out a ton of sugar and it's been helping immensely. So glad to have Truvia! I have to say that my new pants are also starting to fit better! We're not there yet, but we're close. By we I mean, my pants and me...
I had 2 days where I didn't eat only what I was supposed to. On one day I was sitting with my friend in the hospital who couldn't handle eating. So I ate her chicken quesadilla! It was a little too much. So I decided that would be a cheat day for me! So my husband and I went out for pizza that night. And I didn't weigh myself the next day. Really glad I didn't...I already felt guilty for eating poorly the day before. I decided it wasn't a good way to start the next day. Being discouraged from the get go will not help you get to your goal that day. So I skipped and weighed myself the ndxt day, and I had gone back down to the previous low! Nothing to feel bad about!
The other cheat was that my cousin offered to buy us shakes at Dairy Queen. I asked for the very smallest shake they had...turns out that still isn't very small! I still was within my calorie range and I went down still this morning! Woo hoo!
I want to get better at working out more. I worked out twice last week and haven't worked out this week. I feel the momentum so I really want to jump in with both feet! The hug and I went for a nice long walk today, but nothing that would cause sweat.. I gotta sweat.
Still feeling good and totally ready to be at my pre-pregnancy weight! Less than 10 pounds to go! Oh baby, feels good!
I'll have a smoking' hot bad and a tight ass in no time!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Chicken...mmmmm....
One of my favorite recipes is a double roasted chicken recipe from Martha Stewart. I love how much chicken we get and money we save and easy lunches. Not only that, I brown the bones and make homemade broth. So delist and SOOOO good for you. Broth has a ton of healthy nutrients and minerals good that are über health for you.
Another great way to cook a whole chicken is in the crockpot. Just cook on low for 7 hours with some olive oil on it and your favorite spices.
Then, brown the bones in the crockpot overnight, and fill with 5 cups of water in the morning. Add carrots, an onion, a few celery stocks and a can of stewed tomatoes. Cook in crockpot all day, at least 12 hours; up to 24 hours . Drain the liquid from the bones, chicken left on bones and veggies, and discard solids...those veggies have no more flavor at hat point. You can refrigerate and use within 7 days or freeze up to 6 months. Skim the fat off the top & save as well. This is great for savory pie crusts or instead of butter or oil in cooking. I believe you can also make gelatin with it, but that will require more research...
This week I'm gonna try to smoke the chicken... Oh boy. I'll tell you how that goes! Mmmm..
Worked out at curves today and it felt great. I was pretty tired before I went, so I really had to commit to going. I'm very glad I did. I ate all my fruits and veggies today and drank about 9 glasses of water so far. I want to drink 3 more before heading up bed. Got to give my metabolism all the help it can get...
Another great way to cook a whole chicken is in the crockpot. Just cook on low for 7 hours with some olive oil on it and your favorite spices.
Then, brown the bones in the crockpot overnight, and fill with 5 cups of water in the morning. Add carrots, an onion, a few celery stocks and a can of stewed tomatoes. Cook in crockpot all day, at least 12 hours; up to 24 hours . Drain the liquid from the bones, chicken left on bones and veggies, and discard solids...those veggies have no more flavor at hat point. You can refrigerate and use within 7 days or freeze up to 6 months. Skim the fat off the top & save as well. This is great for savory pie crusts or instead of butter or oil in cooking. I believe you can also make gelatin with it, but that will require more research...
This week I'm gonna try to smoke the chicken... Oh boy. I'll tell you how that goes! Mmmm..
Worked out at curves today and it felt great. I was pretty tired before I went, so I really had to commit to going. I'm very glad I did. I ate all my fruits and veggies today and drank about 9 glasses of water so far. I want to drink 3 more before heading up bed. Got to give my metabolism all the help it can get...
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